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- I was laughing maniacally while playing with my food (a very plump and tasty Triceratops) when a dark shadow came over the Earth. A puny mammal squirmed beneath my feet yelling, "Extinction! Extinction!" I didn't know what that word meant, so I had to look it up in the dictionary ...
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- I woke up feeling itchy all over from the night I'd spent in prison after getting caught shoplifting the day before, and I started groaning when I realized that I had to empty my own bedpan. All I wanted was to be reincarnated as a lottery winner someday ...
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- After getting fired for holding up the drive-through the night before, I took the ambulance out for one last spin. I decided that it would be environmentally responsible to carpool, so I picked up a family of five. While the parents were playing with all of the cool medical equipment, their baby started crying for his mommy, so I decided to change his diaper while driving at 100 miles per hour through the city. That's when the fun started ...
